I don’t know about you, but it is easy for me to feel a little overwhelmed at the beginning of a year.  There is just so much to look forward to and to plan for.  New work projects, new extra-mural activities, new things to learn, new people to meet and work with...So many new and exciting things on the horizon.

But I know that when I am in that place of planning and looking forward to what I hope will be forthcoming attractions, I can sometimes not see the wood for the trees.   I am so busy thinking about what I am going to be doing some time in the future, that I forget to think about what I would like to be doing tomorrow.   Living in the future is as tricky as living in the past; it prevents us from living in and enjoying the present, and stops us from taking action in the here and now.

It is all very well for me to be visualising how great I am going to feel as I si ... Read More »

I am thinking of having bumper stickers made that say this, because we all need to be reminded of it every now and then; it is so easy to get into a panic and forget that there is a greater scheme of things at play.

But “trust the process” is often easier said than done, especially when we are in the thick of an experience which feels hard and is difficult to understand – you know that “why does is this happening to me?” feeling.  We panic and think that whatever it is that we are struggling with will never end, will never feel better, and our fear is that we may never be happy or easy in our lives again.

It is when we are in a place that is uncomfortable and scary that we should be comforting ourselves with the phrase, “trust the process.”  Every life experience that we have – good and bad – contributes to the rich pattern of who we are in the process of becoming.

There is a very good chance that I have never met you, but I am pre ... Read More »

You know that feeling when you have had a really great time – a party, a wonderful weekend, a lovely holiday – and then when it is over you feel a little glum and as though nothing nice will ever happen again? Read More »

“Saying no to someone else is saying yes to you” I heard Byron Katie say this at a Martha Beck coaches’ workshop that I was lucky enough to attend in Chicago on July.

Saying no can be hard.  There is often a fear that saying no to someone may mean that you never get asked again.  Or that you may be rejected, or get into trouble.  Or be hurt in some way.

Many of us have a horror of not giving what we think is expected of us.   A need to please.  An unconscious drive to be all things to all people, to never disappoint, to always put others first.  Often we don’t even think about the request, or the impact that saying yes to it will have on us, before saying yes.  Our social selves have been hardwired to agree to most requests.   But saying yes to everyone else often negates our own wishes and needs, and that can make us feel crabby, taken for granted and aggrieved.

I used to say yes to other p ... Read More »

It has taken me a very long time to stop procrastinating and start writing this blog!

I have commitment issues.  I admit it.  Writing a blog is something I have wanted to do for some time now, but have procrastinated about.   A hundred reasons why it was a bad idea raced through my mind every time I thought about the nuts and bolts of it:

• “Aren’t you supposed to write a blog often?”
• “What if I can’t make the technology work?”
•  “What if I have nothing to say?”
• “What if I write something that upsets someone?”
• “What if it is boring?”
•  “What if no-one reads it?”
• “What if I change my mind and don’t want to do it anymore?”  and, that old clanger
• “What if I am not good enough?”

All the ‘what ifs’ ... Read More »