Look Back In Awe

It is December; one more month of 2011!

At this time of year we tend to think about all the things we weren’t able to achieve, all the ideas we haven’t yet put into practice, all the strides we didn’t take. We look back in anger at what we didn’t get right, instead of looking back in awe at what we did.

We are constantly shifting our own, self-imposed goal-posts and it can feel as though we never achieve anything that we set out to. And then we set new (or sometimes the same, again) goals for the new year. I am all for goal setting and planning (although, as you know, I am not keen on the ‘new year, new you’ fever that hits the world in the run up to January. I am of the opinion that you are just fine and that you don’t need to be recreating yourself every year; I prefer the idea of ‘new year, new choices’), but I also believe that we need to celebrate what we have achieved, instead of only looking back at what we haven’t. We need to look back at where we have just been, not to see where we went wrong, but to see where we went right. We need to take notice of all of our achievements – big and small – and celebrate them.

I could be beating myself up about the fact that I went for very irregular walks instead of keeping to a strict three-times–a-week routine this year, but I prefer to feel pleased with myself for managing the walks that I did complete. Instead of berating myself for not starting a new book, I am appreciating myself for blogging more, and for planning a workshop (in Washington DC in March 2012) that I know will kick-start the writing process for me. Rather than focusing on the still-not-tidied dining room, I choose to remember all the time I have spent doing things and being with people that are more important to me than a clear table-top.

It is as easy to self-appreciate as it is to self-deprecate.

All we need to do is shift our attention away from looking for reasons to beat ourselves up, and towards reasons to celebrate ourselves. No matter how many items from your 2011 to-do list are left undone, I am sure that there are as many and, in all probability, a lot more, that belong on a ‘got-done’ list. Being aware of our successes, no matter how inconsequential we may perceive them to be, helps us to see ourselves in a more realistic light, and to appreciate ourselves a little bit more. Everyone wants to be noticed and appreciated, but we are often not very good at noticing and appreciating ourselves and our accomplishments.

This month, as you prepare for the holidays and the new year ahead, I invite you to look back in awe at the year that has just passed. Acknowledge your achievements, the battles you have won, the way you have grown. Notice and appreciate everything that you got done. Celebrate your magnificence!

One of my looking back in awe-inspired insights has resulted in an e-book which will be a free gift to celebrate 2011 and move into 2012. It will be available as a New Year’s gift, so look out for news about it on Twitter, Facebook and through my newsletters.

I will be taking my summer holiday from 21 December to 16 January. When I come back I will be hard at work on the next “Find Your Voice, Use Your Choice” programme which will run every Monday from February 6th to March 12th at 7:30pm SA time (11:30am CST in the USA). I have made some changes and know that this one will be even better than the last one, which was excellently received. Please email me for more details or to be put on the participant list.

I am seriously excited about the sessions I am running at the Martha Beck Coaches’ Summit in March next year. I am offering a break-out session entitled “Be the Change You Want to See In Your Life” as well as delivering a TED style talk called “Rebuilding the Future; helping young people make mindful choices for a resilient life”. I will also be running a Writing session with two amazing authors and fellow Master coaches, Pam Slim and Betsy Rapoport.

And it just gets better, because after THAT, I am running a workshop in Washington DC on the weekend of 24 and 25 March, together with fellow adult child specialist and master blogger Amy Eden Jollymore. We will be working through a variety of adult child issues ('others-centredness' and co-dependency, setting healthy boundaries, communicating clearly, and much, much more) and I am so excited about it that I can hardly sleep at night. But in a very healthy and boundaried kind of a way… Drop me a line if you would like more information on this.

With all that going on, it seems likely that I will only be able to offer the “Life Lessons for Adult Children” coach training programme from April. This is the coaching programme I have designed to train and certify already qualified coaches, counselors, therapists and others involved in personal development and support work to use my adult child materials. Let me know if you would like more information. Completion of one of the adult child programmes is a pre-requisite, so if you are keen to be trained by me, you may want to sign up for the “Find Your Voice” programme sooner rather than later.

I hope that the December holidays are a time of rejuvenation and renewal – and self-appreciation and awe - for you. I can’t wait to connect with you again in 2012.

Love Judy