You Get What You Give

South Africans are usually a cheery bunch. Generally, we smile and greet everyone we meet on our way and are happy to pass the time of day with everyone we come across. But for two days last week we all shared a common concern that resulted in an atmosphere of grim-faced preoccupation and worry. Our beloved Madiba – former President Nelson Mandela – was in hospital and there was no clarity about why he was there. All sorts of horrible things were happening in the rest of the world but in South Africa there was only one question on all of our minds; “how is he?”

School children made ‘get well soon’ cards, religious communities lit candles and prayed, and we all held him in our thoughts. Newspaper sales continue to soar as the entire spectrum of our population has been united, once again, by admiration and support for this icon we are so proud to call our own.

How is it that one man can generate such a tidal wave of love and compassion? Because he is so loving and compassionate. Even in the face of punishment and humiliation, he stood his ground and treated himself, and everyone around him, with respect and dignity - thereby earning respect and admiration. Nelson Mandela is evidence of the adage: you get what you give.

I believe that this is true for all of us. When we are grumpy and stressed, the people we interact with – from supermarket cashiers to our nearest and dearest – are grumpy and stressed back to us. And when we are treated with calm and concern, we become calmer and more concerned about others.

We can “be the change we want to see in the world” (to quote Gandhi) by changing how we are in the world, and that starts by treating ourselves, and others, lovingly and compassionately.

One of the most effective ways of identifying where you would like to be making changes to how you are in the world and in relation to the people around you is by participating in a one or two day coaching workshop. My fellow coach and co-workshop host Daniel and I will be running our first workshop of 2011 on the weekend of 5/6 March. Contact us for more details and to register.

We are also planning what to offer in the rest of this year and we would love to hear back from you so we can make sure that we give you what you want to get. Please drop me an e-mail if you have thoughts about the kinds of workshops you would like to be attending. We are open to suggestions on content, timing, duration and location, and I look forward to hearing from you.

The next “It’s Never Too Late” Adult Child tele-class will run on 4 consecutive Tuesdays in March – click here for more details.

I am very mindful that many people are not in a position to get coaching as they cannot afford the fees. With this in mind I have structured my practice so that 10% of the available coaching slots are subsidised. If you, or anyone you know, would like to find out more about how to get on the list for these sessions, please drop me a line.

And finally, I am over the moon that "Life Lessons for the Adult Child" is available for pre-order on Amazon – no more 10 week waits to read the book for people based outside of South Africa.

I hope that February is a powerful month for you and that it brings with it opportunities to give and get good things to and from the people who are important to you.

Love Judy