The winter solstice is always deceptive. We get to June 21st and think that we are halfway through winter so the worst must be over. But how wrong we are; the hard part is just starting. Sure, the days are beginning to slowly get longer and the birds start singing a little earlier every morning, but the cold is really beginning to set in now, and that tends to take us by surprise. We can easily feel cheated – I often hear people saying how unfair it is that winter is so cold and harsh after we have passed the ‘halfway’ mark.
Life can feel a little like that too. How often do we start a project or embark on a new direction and feel totally surprised (and often more than a little grumpy) when things start to get really challenging after we have passed what we think is the midway mark? We life coaches who have been trained by Martha Beck know that this experience is entirely natural and we expect it – for ourselves and for our clients – because we understand that it is all part of the change cycle which, just like the seasonal cycles, has certain milestones and ‘halfway’ marks which confuse us.
We think that once we have done all the ground work for a new project, the implementation will be easy: if we have filled the car with petrol, had it serviced, got lots of audio books to listen to, and planned the route, that the drive to Cape Town will be effortless. Or, on a larger scale, if we have learned the tools of our trade, got our qualifications and landed a job that our career will take off on an ever-upward trajectory of fulfilment, reward and recognition.
How wrong we are! It is often once we reach that point of feeling that the groundwork has been done that the real slog starts. This is what Martha calls “The Hero’s Saga” and it is square three of the four squares in her change cycle. She calls it “The Hero’s Saga” because that is what it feels like; confusing, difficult, exhilarating, terrifying, exciting, challenging, rewarding and – ultimately – fulfilling and satisfying. At the end of it all, we really appreciate and enjoy the rewards we have fought so hard for. Just as, when spring finally does arrive, we feel so much happier and more appreciative – and prouder of ourselves for making it through the cold and dark - than we would have if winter ended on 22 June.
This winter, I have been keeping my mind off the weather by preparing my E-Book for publication. It is called Into the Light: Stepping out of the shadows of a challenging childhood and is an adaptation of the 5 week e-course for Adult Children that I offer. It is 60-something pages of information on ‘Adult Children’, a term that refers to men and women who grew up with parents who were preoccupied (with alcohol, drugs, gambling and/or work addictions; depression; chronic illness; eating disorders; co-dependence; physical or emotional abuse; or absent due to work or for political reasons) and were therefore unable to create a consistent and loving environment for their children. A whole host of limiting beliefs about self worth and feelings of invisibility arise from a chaotic and unpredictable childhood, and this book helps readers to make sense of their past and how it affects their present, in order to enhance and improve their future. It will be available to purchase and download online in the next few weeks and I am really excited about it. This is what Martha (in her usual measured tones) has said about it:
“I think it's absolutely BRILLIANT. I read so much self-help, and I'm bored to death with it. But your stuff is totally riveting, so intelligent, so helpful.”
I look forward to sharing it with you all.
Keep warm and happy,
Love Judy
The winter solstice is always deceptive. We get to June 21st and think that we are halfway through winter so the worst must be over. But how wrong we are; the hard part is just starting. Sure, the days are beginning to slowly get longer and the birds start singing a little earlier every morning, but the cold is really beginning to set in now, and that tends to take us by surprise. We can easily feel cheated – I often hear people saying how unfair it is that winter is so cold and harsh after we have passed the ‘halfway’ mark.
Life can feel a little like that too. How often do we start a project or embark on a new direction and feel totally surprised (and often more than a little grumpy) when things start to get really challenging after we have passed what we think is the midway mark? We life coaches who have been trained by Martha Beck know that this experience is entirely natural and we expect it – for ourselves and for our clients – because we understand that it is all part of the change cycle which, just like the seasonal cycles, has certain milestones and ‘halfway’ marks which confuse us.
We think that once we have done all the ground work for a new project, the implementation will be easy: if we have filled the car with petrol, had it serviced, got lots of audio books to listen to, and planned the route, that the drive to Cape Town will be effortless. Or, on a larger scale, if we have learned the tools of our trade, got our qualifications and landed a job that our career will take off on an ever-upward trajectory of fulfilment, reward and recognition.
How wrong we are! It is often once we reach that point of feeling that the groundwork has been done that the real slog starts. This is what Martha calls “The Hero’s Saga” and it is square three of the four squares in her change cycle. She calls it “The Hero’s Saga” because that is what it feels like; confusing, difficult, exhilarating, terrifying, exciting, challenging, rewarding and – ultimately – fulfilling and satisfying. At the end of it all, we really appreciate and enjoy the rewards we have fought so hard for. Just as, when spring finally does arrive, we feel so much happier and more appreciative – and prouder of ourselves for making it through the cold and dark - than we would have if winter ended on 22 June.
This winter, I have been keeping my mind off the weather by preparing my E-Book for publication. It is called Into the Light: Stepping out of the shadows of a challenging childhood and is an adaptation of the 5 week e-course for Adult Children that I offer. It is 60-something pages of information on ‘Adult Children’, a term that refers to men and women who grew up with parents who were preoccupied (with alcohol, drugs, gambling and/or work addictions; depression; chronic illness; eating disorders; co-dependence; physical or emotional abuse; or absent due to work or for political reasons) and were therefore unable to create a consistent and loving environment for their children. A whole host of limiting beliefs about self worth and feelings of invisibility arise from a chaotic and unpredictable childhood, and this book helps readers to make sense of their past and how it affects their present, in order to enhance and improve their future. It will be available to purchase and download online in the next few weeks and I am really excited about it. This is what Martha (in her usual measured tones) has said about it:
“I think it's absolutely BRILLIANT. I read so much self-help, and I'm bored to death with it. But your stuff is totally riveting, so intelligent, so helpful.”
I look forward to sharing it with you all.
Keep warm and happy,
Love Judy