A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone.
His father came along just then.
Noting the boy's failure, he asked, "Are you using all your strength?"
"Yes, I am," the little boy said impatiently.
"No, you are not," the father answered. "I am right here just waiting, and you haven't asked me to help you."
Happy Spring to you! There are so many things that I have been wanting to write about in my September newsletter: all the insights I had while I was in the USA for three weeks in July; how excited I am about the long-awaited release of my e-book; the arrival of Spring after what must surely be one of the hardest winters we have had for a while; the movie triumph that is District 9, which blew me away (almost literally – those special effects are pretty special); the change cycle and how it affects us all....
I was feeling immobilised by possibility. Where to start? What to choose? Sometimes it can feel difficult to know what option to choose when there seem to be so many. My usual approach of testing how my body responds when I think of various options didn’t help because they all felt appealing. So, I did what I encourage all my life coaching clients and the Masters students I mentor to do: I asked for help. And – quick as a flash- I got it.�
I am never really sure why asking for help seems such a novel suggestion when I make it to people. When did we all learn that asking for help is a bad thing, a sign of weakness or of ineptitude? When did we learn that we had to do everything and know everything all by ourselves? I think we don’t ask for help because we fear the outcome. We imagine that the person we are asking will think less of us, that our request will be refused, that we will be made to feel stupid for needing to ask, or that even we will be given the wrong kind of help. We often don’t think to ask for help because it is not something that we see happening around us as a rule.�
Nora M. Klaver, author of Mayday! Asking for help in times of need, says that asking for a help is “a universally dreaded endeavour.” But by asking others for help, we allow them to ask for help too, and that opens up a whole cycle of giving and receiving – “a chance to be touched by another soul” - which is really what life should be about.
And sometimes the help we receive, in addition to being helpful in and of itself, can take us on another avenue of enquiry, just like this column. I asked for ideas for this newsletter, and was sent this link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA) for inspiration. You should have a look at it – it really is inspiring (thanks David). But even more helpful was the confirmation that when I feel in need of assistance, all I have to do is ask!
Here’s to help.
Love Judy
P.S. I am delighted that Into the Light: Stepping out of the shadows of a challenging childhood is now available for the special introductory offer of R150. It is my first ‘self-help’ e-book which combines information on what makes “adult children” with powerful life coaching exercises to help readers make sense of their past and how it affects their present, in order to enhance and improve their future. Click here to read more
I would love you to take a look at my new Blog too.
A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone.
His father came along just then.
Noting the boy's failure, he asked, "Are you using all your strength?"
"Yes, I am," the little boy said impatiently.
"No, you are not," the father answered. "I am right here just waiting, and you haven't asked me to help you."
Happy Spring to you! There are so many things that I have been wanting to write about in my September newsletter: all the insights I had while I was in the USA for three weeks in July; how excited I am about the long-awaited release of my e-book; the arrival of Spring after what must surely be one of the hardest winters we have had for a while; the movie triumph that is District 9, which blew me away (almost literally – those special effects are pretty special); the change cycle and how it affects us all....
I was feeling immobilised by possibility. Where to start? What to choose? Sometimes it can feel difficult to know what option to choose when there seem to be so many. My usual approach of testing how my body responds when I think of various options didn’t help because they all felt appealing. So, I did what I encourage all my life coaching clients and the Masters students I mentor to do: I asked for help. And – quick as a flash- I got it.�
I am never really sure why asking for help seems such a novel suggestion when I make it to people. When did we all learn that asking for help is a bad thing, a sign of weakness or of ineptitude? When did we learn that we had to do everything and know everything all by ourselves? I think we don’t ask for help because we fear the outcome. We imagine that the person we are asking will think less of us, that our request will be refused, that we will be made to feel stupid for needing to ask, or that even we will be given the wrong kind of help. We often don’t think to ask for help because it is not something that we see happening around us as a rule.�
Nora M. Klaver, author of Mayday! Asking for help in times of need, says that asking for a help is “a universally dreaded endeavour.” But by asking others for help, we allow them to ask for help too, and that opens up a whole cycle of giving and receiving – “a chance to be touched by another soul” - which is really what life should be about.
And sometimes the help we receive, in addition to being helpful in and of itself, can take us on another avenue of enquiry, just like this column. I asked for ideas for this newsletter, and was sent this link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA) for inspiration. You should have a look at it – it really is inspiring (thanks David). But even more helpful was the confirmation that when I feel in need of assistance, all I have to do is ask!
Here’s to help.
Love Judy
P.S. I am delighted that Into the Light: Stepping out of the shadows of a challenging childhood is now available for the special introductory offer of R150. It is my first ‘self-help’ e-book which combines information on what makes “adult children” with powerful life coaching exercises to help readers make sense of their past and how it affects their present, in order to enhance and improve their future. Click here to read more
I would love you to take a look at my new Blog too.